My story of Monday’s testicle removal

Written Tuesday, two weeks post op scrotoplasty.

Feeling lows. Things were going great until late Sunday night. By Monday, a sudden and intense enterococcus infection overgrew in my pelvic floor and became life threatening, requiring emergency on-the-spot surgery. Enterococcus is much like Strep. [Edit, a kind of Strep.] It swelled while I was sleeping and started ripping my skin– a loud pop, something science fiction. I had no idea why my skin was rent open like that. My surgeon thought it was mechanical stress he’d just stitch up in the office the next day.

But after he saw it, he looked very serious. He could discern I had lost important tissues to the infection, which I’ll describe in further detail in my blog and in trans groups… My testes had to be removed. Certain tissues were damaged by the Enterococcus and had to be debrieded and removed. Sutures all got opened. No anesthesia. Deep breath.

Everything from Stage 1 survived; just Stage 2 work is precarious or gone.

But they assure me we can try again later this year. Dr. Coon’s office coordinator held my hand the whole time. It was hard. Because it was extremely urgent, and they couldn’t use lidocaine on those sites, it was no anesthesia. I felt all the stitches being opened and all the long incisions to explore infection. Dr. Coon didn’t stop talking to me for one second to keep my mind distracted. I know it had to happen this way. I made it through.

They brought me a homemade rice krispie treat afterward and stayed with me after hours an hour, knowing I was going home alone to my basement rental so blue and shaken.

Feeling physically weak, nauseous, shaky. I’m on two kinds of antibiotics, but they’re so hard on my stomach. I had a little appetite this morning. Pain is controlled, unlike before surgery. Walking is tough more than a dozen steps.

I have unpleasant, distressing wound care to do twice a day. It’s enough to make me wince. I hope I’ll be ready to come home Friday, when my flight is. I had truly hoped to be ready for teaching Monday.

Scheduling a distance therapy appointment today, because Lord knows my heart needs some help holding on.

Images that stay with me– Yesterday, the way my heart and blood pressure were shooting up to double what they should be, that light flying and bursting sensation, life perilous– then the urgency and focus of my doctor when he ordered his instruments and operating table, the speed of his nurse assistant, and the way Melissa dashed into the room to hold my hand.

Can’t shake the image– The way Devin [Dr. Coon], [PA] Samantha, and [MOC] Melissa could make me laugh even when I was in the most excruciating pain imaginable. And in that amount of pain, we are going first name basis. Devin’s ability to work while I was shaking and jumping on the pad that caught the mess… I’m impressed. I know I can do anything, because I breathed and hoped through all that. That’s what I tell myself today.

But today I have to rest and recover from that. I’ll be back home to Dallas in just a handful of days. Breathing in hopes, breathing out gratitude. We will try again… Better to have tried and failed than never tried at all.

I almost died yesterday. Today I have wounds to heal, but I’m going to be okay. That’s the sunny side. [Partner] and I laughed through tears, Can I at least have a puppy cone to wear? Sigh, weak smile:,)

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