Well, they said not to use my penis ever since this last stage of trans phalloplasty. They didn’t say not to receive any penetration or sexual stimulation at all. So why not bend the rules a little, extremely gently?
It’s Friday night, no kids, and my spouse and I were alone. I initiated, “Just fingers? Yours” I still love that about queer sex, the way our roles are not presumed. Well, I quickly learned the internal angle toward the tubing and bone sutures is really sore. I’m having a “duh” moment. And the incision externally that seemed okay? It did not like the pulling.
And this is how I ended up taking the softest, gentlest penetration with one gentle finger. It felt like a lot. In a few minutes, she l fell into an ecstasy, having been keenly observing me in pleasure. I asked her, “Please, join me over here on the pillow.” She withdrew, and we kissed to sleep.
It was very brief, very gentle, very tender and emotional. She had to learn new angles, since all this new equipment is in the way. Ah, I am so grateful for how she honors my body’s journey and sees me for who I really am. I’m speechless about how deep her love is.
No, I think it’s too early for much. But I’m still grateful for these experiences.