Trying sexual activity… Penetration, 3w postop stage 3

Well, they said not to use my penis ever since this last stage of trans phalloplasty. They didn’t say not to receive any penetration or sexual stimulation at all. So why not bend the rules a little, extremely gently?

It’s Friday night, no kids, and my spouse and I were alone. I initiated, “Just fingers? Yours” I still love that about queer sex, the way our roles are not presumed. Well, I quickly learned the internal angle toward the tubing and bone sutures is really sore. I’m having a “duh” moment. And the incision externally that seemed okay? It did not like the pulling.

And this is how I ended up taking the softest, gentlest penetration with one gentle finger. It felt like a lot. In a few minutes, she l fell into an ecstasy, having been keenly observing me in pleasure. I asked her, “Please, join me over here on the pillow.” She withdrew, and we kissed to sleep.

It was very brief, very gentle, very tender and emotional. She had to learn new angles, since all this new equipment is in the way. Ah, I am so grateful for how she honors my body’s journey and sees me for who I really am. I’m speechless about how deep her love is.

No, I think it’s too early for much. But I’m still grateful for these experiences.

4 thoughts on “Trying sexual activity… Penetration, 3w postop stage 3”

  1. Are you instructed to inflate/deflate it 4 weeks post op? Then once a week thereafter? Does your penis go completely flaccid now or swelling still remains?
    Your scrotum looks really good, well stretched to accommodate the pump. Mind sharing any tip?

    1. Hi! I don’t have any specifications for how frequently I have to become erect from my urologist, because Dr. Arthur Burnett said that most of that is based on shrinking of the tunica which will not apply to me (as my tunica is AlloDerm), but the manufacturer rep told me on the phone that it isn’t good for the valves to use the device too infrequently. Not sure what frequency will be right for me, as there are not really any good or large studies yet. It does go completely flaccid, but I haven’t quite gotten the hang of finding the button to become flaccid very easily. Actually it’s still pretty tough for me, ha. I think it’ll get easier with practice. My ball sack is still somewhat tender in some places from the Titan install but not painful like it was. It is stretched a lot, but I hear from my surgeon it develops more play over time. I had no idea I would even get this much scrotum, but they’re creative in how they build it with the VY method to maximize capacity. I think there may be a marginal amount of swelling but probably not much. My penis is a bit less floppy than average because of being at the heaviest side of allowable BMI for RFF (30-32), and I had thick rolls of AlloDerm implanted at stage 1 and stage 3.

      1. Thanks for sharing. I must admit your surgeons did very good jobs, all procedures are well thought out. Did you have to pay out of pocket for the alloderm?

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