It’s now been right around three years since I first had trans phalloplasty. I apologize: I had to disable my blog the last six months to fix a critical security issue. Six months of silence sufficiently bored the trolls.
I am saddened to relate that unscrupulous people have reposted much of my content as pornography on cheap, ugly sites. The descriptions of the images do not match the gender euphoric context given here. They’re shlocky, hackneyed transgender fetish stuff. Those pornographic captions misconstrue the story of the nudes within this blog. I do not write it for fetishizing cisgender voyeurs; I am writing to share a roadmap for those who are considering the surgery for oneself. Or, for those who want to know the heart that follows along with the story of this body.
I want to continue blogging about this surgery journey anyway.
Some risk remains ever-present, and I accept this. I received innumerable hateful messages, stemming from forums. Yes, I understand there are people with no hobbies but to complain about others’ bodies in seedy forums. Maybe it is some kind of catharsis to collectively bond over revulsion, for them? In the absence of healthy community, they bond over how disgusted they feel looking on our happiness. It is as if in saying something impressively violent or more originally hateful, it would win them friends and fans. They are highly motivated, for whatever reason.
So, to tell the story of why the blog had to go for a time: Large numbers of troubled men sought the only way they knew to make an impact– bullying. Yes, in bullying me. I don’t want to give too much more attention, but as personal as they tried to make it, it never had anything to do with me with being trans. They need help. Only someone who had been harmed greatly or who has many unmet needs could fill their time like that. I do not excuse them, but it must come from a place of brokenness. May they find healing.
I have to come back to insist on adding my voice. Sharing of these images will continue with or without my consent; that is the reality. Here, I can add the medical and personal context. I hope that when someone stumbles across these images, no matter where they land, they could find the story that goes with them.
Now, shall we get back to the fun stuff? <3 I am well. I hope you are well, too. I look forward to upgrading the blog over the next year to add more helpful stuff for visitors.